Speedboat

Words and Photographs by Willow Shields

I meet Speedboat opposite Brighton palace pier, at nine in the evening, in late October. Accompanied by close personal friend, fine artist and chaos causer Millie Noble, who quells my heightening panic of a one-on-two meeting with one of my (our) favourite bands. As brothers Johnny and Will walk towards us, my nervousness comes to a peak, but as we hug our hello’s and begin walking down to the seafront it steadies at a not-ideal 7.5/10. 

After crunching our way toward the vast open ocean, only framed by the pier. Millie and Will crack a joke I didn't hear at the time, later on she relays to me that there were two people getting-it-on in the dark underbelly of Brighton’s monument to consumerism. The pair pose and crawl up the beach like some sort of curs’ed pop flavoured murmen - not pictured - and then we set off towards Kemptown via some very smelly steps. Brighton at night has a very different energy than in the daytime, in the light you don't smell the piss as much, or see people shagging under the Pier. Unless they’re very brave.

The next portion of our walk consists of nearly getting hit by moving vehicles, twice. First is crossing the main road and it’s definitely my fault, second is Johnny and Will crossing the road and a cyclist nearly crashing into Will, but actually going between the pair at what must be at least 30mph. Having survived the two roads we crossed, we come to a small park opposite a tennis table club, which when we walk past Will says that the people inside, “sound like Sims.” We situate ourselves on a lone table tennis table in the small piece of greenery next to the main  road in Kemptown, which isn't the main main road but it’s the highstreet and is very quiet because it’s now almost ten at night. 

Johnny is at the head of the table, Will and I opposite each other on Johnny’s side of the net and Millie just past the net, comfortably sitting atop the table. For a bit of context, after this interview I scream at myself for at least five minutes for my lack of ability to combat the awkwardness of the whole situation. I start by asking “who are you” in a frankly antagonistic tone, the brothers chuckle and answer together, “we’re Speedboat.” Will then says, “we’re brothers,” I, again for no reason, argumentatively ask, “really?” Will answers, “brothers from birth,” we stay on this subject for about three or four minutes, I ask them to pinky promise and they oblige. I then say that I think that anyone who tells them they look alike are liars. I now think someone must have spiked the water I was drinking that day. I then ask them if they’d call themselves pessimists due to the dark nature of some of their songs, Johnny says, “no, definitely not.” and then Will begins to quiz me on which lyrics of theirs I believe are dark. I then ask, “are you optimists then?” Johnny answers, “depends on the situation.” Will says he’s “somewhere in the middle.” Feeling a slow burn of panic rising in my chest and brain because for some reason I've started this interview fighting the band, I run to a tried and tested ice breaker question. This does not work. I’d asked them the sandwich question before! Of course I had. Just my luck. They oblige anyway and let Johnny pick, as Will had chosen last time, he answers “Prawn sandwich.” We argue if Will should tell me his updated sandwich choice or not, he declines. Then Johnny and I start saying “Prawns” at each other for a bit too long. I then ask the pair if they feel as if they have a ‘live persona’ semi-scrambing, I continue “do you put on the suit and become Speedboat? Answering the first half of my question Johnny ”says “Yeah, I would say that,” and then poses the question to Will. “Yeah, perhaps. I’d say so. It’s less of putting on an outfit…” Johnny silently laughs, “a mind outfit.” Moving back onto silly questions again, I ask them where has been their worst holiday, “holidays are normally pretty good” replies Johnny. Will then says, “I've never had a bad holiday. I’ve always enjoyed it.” Johnny then jokes, “It’s always sunny with Speedboat.” Which I think should be their new catchphrase. I then ask for travel tips since they ‘always have amazing holidays,’ which I think is a lie. But ask anyway. Johnny says, “South of France.” I probe on why the South of France, asking for three reasons to go there above anywhere else. He replies, “Mediterranean, the pasties, and the sun shines.” 

I pose the question “what inspires you to write music?” Will immediately answers, “recording, the process. That moment when you feel it. When you don't know where it’s going to go, but you find it.” I then find myself asking, “do you feel like you're always searching for that feeling?” Johnny then says, “We don't search for it, it just happens. I don't go searching for it, if it's not there.” Will continues, “hope it comes up.” Taken aback by their very simple answer to what I thought was quite a deep question, I stay quiet for a moment, chasing thoughts around my brain to find something finally intelligent to ask. I don't find any intellect there. So instead I ask, “Has there been a moment where you knew you wanted to do music, in childhood or…” Will answers, “I feel like it’s always been there.” So, no. They then reminisce about getting their first guitars as children, Johnny says, “listening to music, as a kid.” I feel myself in a rut, my attempt to get out is “do you collect anything in particular,” to which Will answers, “jeans.” Johnny says, “I used to have a lot of pairs of jeans but I've worn them all out.” Will continues, “I can’t not buy a good fitting pair of jeans.” Johnny then comes out with, “I seem to have a huge collection of coffee pots.” After having a giggle about coffee pots and what other people we know collect, I move onto the subject of the eighties. More specifically, a friend once told me that they think Speedboat’s music sounds like ‘eighties yacht porn music.’ I relay this to them. And ask them if they agree. Johnny asks, “What, like it’s the music from a porno set on a yacht? I’d like to think that some of our songs could be used in that context, yeah.” And evolving from that, I want their opinion on the ‘porn stache,’ Johnny says, “not for me. I’ve had one in the past, since listening to that Patrick Cowely album where he’s on the cover, he has a great one. I’ve been thinking of getting the old guy back.” 

Millie and I get sidetracked, thinking out loud about porn staches. We conclude that Millie wishes she could grow one and I would keep one in a box. Getting back to the task at hand I ask the pair if they've ever been on a speedboat. Johnny answers, “yeah.” I ask, “was it fun?” Johnny says, “yeah, it was fun.” In a semi demanding tone, I say, “tell us the story, s’il vous plait.” Johnny, “had a friend who did boat trips, on his speedboat. He actually had a great moustache. A beautiful moustache,” Will says, “when he got that boat going, it was rustling in the air.” Johnny laughs, “he’s probably filmed some…” and then decides to cut himself off. His name is Nigel. Johnny continues, “he took me on his boat, it was fast, the boat’s called Thunder. That’s about it.” I then ask why they decided to call themselves Speedboat, they both laugh and say, “because of Nigel.” Johnny resumes, “yeah, I knew a group of them who did speedboat trips,” I interrupt asking if they were all called Nigel. Apparently not. I wish they all wore tight colourful vests, had beautiful moustaches and looked like Tom Sellek in Friends. Johnny continues, “they were called the Speedboat boys, they were known as that in the town, and we were going to be Speedboat Boys but we dropped the boys.” Suddenly, a youth approaches and askes very politely, “have you guys seen any weed around here?” Having not seen his weed we say a collective ‘no, sorry.’ He asks if he can look, we say yes, he does. Millie lifts her feet up and is now cross legged on the table tennis table, we share a look of ‘what the fuck is happening’, because surprisingly this is a first in the Groupie history books. After having no luck, the youth retreats and thanks us for our time. We resume the interview. I ask, “if you were to pick a favourite sport, what would it be?” Will asks for clarification, “to do or to watch?” I answer, “both.” And then replies, “I’ve only done it once, but wind surfing is quite fun.” Johnny says, “Skiing,” I ask Johnny, “what’s your favourite skiing?” showing off my ski knowledge, “the jumpy or just down?” He answers, “freestyle,” and to clarify for those who are less in-the-know about skiing than Johnny and I, “just down, leisure skiing.” Finally, I ask the artists formerly known as Speedboat Boys what their favourite colours are, Johnny seems to ask himself, “red? I don't really have one. If I was twisted, I’d choose red.” Will says, “I like green. Green’s nice, it’s natural. It’s healthy. All good things, nothing bad is green.”